Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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