EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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