Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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