My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
