I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize