I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
