i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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