I need help removing her.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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