whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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