It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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