The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
