so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I need to align my fucking chakras
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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