I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
