I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
