Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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