Just fell off a train. Bad.
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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