I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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