you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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