I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
