Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
