the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
