That's when you crack a 10am beer
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
