I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
