I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
