You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
