Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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