This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
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