Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
