Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
