either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
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