Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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