But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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