I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
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