omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
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