This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
