I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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