i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
