PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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