Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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