So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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