Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
It's shark week go big or go home
Can you repeat that, but with context?
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
