Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize