You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
