just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Never let your siblings swipe right.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
