wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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