Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Randomize
