she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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