Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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