all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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