We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
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