woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
