Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
