Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Randomize