I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
