Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
