that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
