So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
