God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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