can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize