just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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