Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry NinjaDinoShark hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(507): View more from Minnesota

So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.

Fav 58 1003 4079
share tweet
(214): View more from Texas

And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit

Fav 55 3273 1691
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(904): View more from Florida

Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.

Fav 18 6400 1761
share tweet
(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...

Fav 7 2338 858
share tweet
(231): View more from Michigan

I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.

(231): View more from Michigan

The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter

Fav 10 798 2055
share tweet
(254): View more from Texas

It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.

(214): View more from Texas

You need to calm down.

Fav 1 1006 593
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(303): View more from Colorado

Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.

Fav 2 896 557
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(615): View more from Tennessee

Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.

Fav 1 44 21
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(813): View more from Florida

Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.

Fav 0 29 35
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT