So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Come share oat with me in your robe
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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