I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
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